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These Are The Feelings You Should Experience With A True “Soulmate”

Often when I am talking to someone in a toxic relationship, they will justify their partner’s behavior by claiming that they are their “soulmate” even when they are enduring emotional and, at times, physical abuse.

It is a claim that I can easily relate to. When I was younger, I justified an abusive partner’s behavior because they were my soulmate. It took them screaming at me that they would never change their behavior to open my eyes to the fact that their words and promises had fooled me and we were “meant to be.”

Whether you want to call it love-bombing or the soul-mate effect, this is far too often a term used by manipulative partners to keep their relationship going long past its expiration date.

I fear that a soulmate has become an idea we have been sold on instead of digging into what it should mean and the standards we should hold for a soulmate.

If you have met someone and believe they are your “soulmate” then you should ask yourself if they embody the following qualities.

#1. You immediately want to confide in them about everything

Many of my clients in toxic relationships often tell me that they don’t feel comfortable disclosing certain information or even fully being themselves.

There are moments when they don’t want to be honest with their significant other because they fear it could make them mad. They constantly walk on eggshells and worry that one misstep could cause the ruin of the entire relationship.

Hearing these stories makes my heart ache because I remember being in a relationship where I couldn’t be honest and transparent with my partner.

An ideal partner will create a space where you can be honest and transparent with them, and you won’t need to hide any part of yourself.

#2. You want to be the best version of yourself

My early twenties were when I struggled to figure out the path I needed to follow.

I had gone through numerous traumatic experiences both in my childhood and early adulthood and was very lost regarding what I wanted to do as my purpose in life.

That is no excuse, but I believe it is why I wasn’t living up to my potential. During that time, I was selfish and reckless, and I didn’t want to care about anything or anyone because I already knew so much about hurt.

All of that changed when I met my partner. I immediately knew I would have to change some of my self-destructive behaviors, so I sought therapy and began working through my trauma. My partner never asked me to change by any means; I realized I wanted to present the best version of myself to him because that was the person he deserved.

#3. You will never doubt their commitment

When I was younger, I had many relationships that felt like we were constantly playing games, which was exhausting.

Often it felt like the person I was dating had one foot out the door, and I was constantly questioning whether or not they wanted to be together.

My current partner has never caused me the slightest doubt about whether or not he is faithful and wants to commit to our life together.

There is constant communication and trust that is unlike anything else I had ever experienced, and honestly, it felt like it was too good to be accurate at the beginning. Yet as the years have passed, our commitment and trust remain strong. I have never been so secure and happy in a relationship as I am with him.

#4. You can’t wait to come home to them

Before my current relationship, there were so many times I yearned to get away from whoever I was dating, constantly filling up my time with social events and friends.

Now it’s an entirely different scenario. Although I love (and need) the time with my friends, I am always ready to return to my partner. I feel relief and happiness wash over me every time I walk through the door.

Every relationship is different. Perhaps I wasn’t ready for a genuine commitment such as I have now, but there is security and contentment in the knowledge that when I am home with him, there is no other place I would rather be.

#5. You feel supported and encouraged in everything you do

A few years ago, I talked about how I wanted to write and do relationship coaching alongside my full-time job.

For months I spoke about my dreams and why they couldn’t happen. It makes me cringe to think of all the energy and time I spent coming up with excuses I could have directed toward my goals and ambitions.

My partner listened to my reasons why I couldn’t follow my passion and dreams and began telling me the reasons why I could make them happen. His encouragement gave me confidence and slowly but surely I began to work towards my goals. I have a lifetime of working towards them, but had he not pushed me, I may have never taken that first baby step that led to where I am now.

The reality is that a true soulmate is not someone who puts you down, abuses you, or causes you to doubt how they feel.

A true soulmate will support and encourage you in everything that you do. Throughout the ups and downs, even when you are at your lowest, they will be your number one fan.

We often seem to forget that a relationship isn’t meant to be a burden or something that causes constant grief and stress.

A relationship with the right person, soulmate or not, should enhance your life and bring contentment and happiness. Life is too short to settle for anything less.

Carrie Wynn



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